Frequently Asked Questions
Is S.L.A.A. for You?
Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous is a fellowship based on the 12 Step program of Alcoholics Anonymous. With established meetings in many cities in the United States and several cities overseas, this self-help fellowship is open to people of any age or sexual preference. Members include both those who suffer from a compulsive need for sex, and those with a desperate attachment to one person. What all members have in common is an obsessive/compulsive pattern, either sexual or emotional (or both, in which relationships or activities have become increasingly destructive to all areas of their lives -- career, family, and sense of self-respect.)
Excerpt from the pamphlet "An introduction to Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous" © 1985
What is Sex and Love Addiction?
We in S.L.A.A. believe that sex and love addiction is a progressive illness which cannot be cured, but which, like many illnesses, can be arrested. It may take several forms -- including (but not limited to) a compulsive need for sex, extreme dependency on one person (or many) and/or chronic preoccupation with romance, intrigue, or fantasy. An obsessive/compulsive pattern, either sexual or emotional (or both), exists in which relationships or sexual activities have become increasingly destructive to career, family, and sense of self-respect. Sex and love addiction, if left unchecked, always gets worse. However, if we follow a simple program which has proven successful for scores of other men and women with the same illness, we can recover. In S.L.A.A., we learn to accept the reality of having this addiction and surrender any notion that we can control it successfully on the basis of our unaided will. Admitting personal powerlessness over this affliction, we cease our addictive behavior and turn to guidance from a Power greater than ourselves, make restitution for harm done to others, and reconstruct our lives physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally.
Excerpt taken from the pamphlet, "Suggestions for Newcomers" © 1985 S.L.A.A.
How do I join? What do I need to do to start?
Contact us by filling out the contact form on the left hand side of this form or call the hotline. Please leave a telephone number so that we can reach you directly. We will contact you soon. Start going to meetings. Attend meetings as often as possible. There are no dues or fees to attend.
What can I expect at a meeting?
All of our meetings are closed, for addicts only. Every person must meet
membership requirements to attend meetings: "The only requirement for
S.L.A.A. membership is the desire to stop living out a pattern of sex
and love addiction." - S.L.A.A. Third Tradition. Members share their experience, strength, and hope. We read from the
S.L.A.A. Basic Text. We share the tools that we use in the program. We share about how the program has worked for us and the difference we see while working on our program. Our meetings are closed meetings and are not open to the public. Our members do not repeat what we have heard in a meeting. We keep confidential what we share in meetings. Some of the terms we use at meetings are listed
here. You will also hear slogans of the program used during shares in the meeting. Here is a list of some of the
slogans you might hear.
What is withdrawal? How long does it last?
Withdrawal usually begins when we abstain from addictive behavior. Withdrawal symptoms may vary for different people, and the length of time for each individual varies. Some members feel sluggish and have little energy. Others have headaches or physical symptoms. Be assured that withdrawal does not last forever and it is normal to go through withdrawal in recovery. Members might encounter withdrawal in different phases of recovery. We have found that reading chapter 5 in the SLAA Basic Text for more information about withdrawal helps us to understand withdrawal. Many of us have started a list much like the list explained in the Withdrawal chapter. We find that it helps a great deal while in withdrawal, and helps us to understand our withdrawal symptoms and how withdrawal is an essential part of the recovery process. We do not offer medical advice.
What is a sponsor? What does a sponsor do?
A sponsor is someone who has worked the steps. We work the steps with our sponsors. A sponsor is someone who shares her experience, strength, and hope. You can download "
Tips for Finding a Sponsor". It is suggested that you continue to go to meetings, and listen for a person that you relate to, and who you trust. Most people are honored when you ask them to sponsor you. If you are told no, do not take it personally. There could be a number of reasons why you are told no. Be patient, and continue to go to meetings, and do not give up on finding a sponsor. It is essential that you have a sponsor to work the steps.