Affirmations

This is not S.L.A.A. Conference Approved Literature

Affirmations have proven very effective in assisting with recovery.  It might be beneficial to read the affirmations aloud to yourself.  Some of us have printed affirmations and taped them to a mirror and said them aloud to ourselves.  It is beneficial to record your voice saying the affirmations and play the affirmations back to yourself when you are going to sleep, and when you wake up in the morning.  Affirmations are acts of self care that help us change our attitudes and beliefs about ourselves.  

 Affirmations for Love Addicts:

  1. Today I know that an intimate relationship without intense excitement or fireworks is not necessarily “dead.”
  2. I know now that sexual excitement, focused attention and interpersonal respect do not happen automatically.
  3. I realize today that I need to understand the sexual or romantic relationships of the past to have a successful relationship in the present or future.
  4. Today I can see that I have to learn how to manage my not okay inner child as he tries to manage sexual and romantic intimacy.
  5. I know today that I sometimes associate sex or romance in the present with memories of abandonment, neglect, invalidation or abuse from the past.
  6. I understand today that I sometimes think that sex is “dirty” or “bad,” but is it?
  7. I can admit now that I sometimes believe that I must always be in firm control of any sexual or romantic relationship.
  8. I understand now that horrible things will not necessarily happen if I let things get out of control in a sexual or romantic relationship.
  9. I recognize today that I sometimes believe that I should choose an inferior, submissive or masochistic romantic partner.
  10. I appreciate now that it doesn’t work very well to choose a superior, dominant or sadistic partner.
  11. Today I understand that I sometimes think I should never take the risk of being abused.
  12. I am aware today that I sometimes believe that I need another “mommy” or “daddy” for a lover or spouse.
  13. I can see now that I sometimes think I should be “mommy” or “daddy” to a lover or spouse to make the relationship “work.”
  14. I know now that I sometimes believe I should never allow anyone to get too close to me for too long.
  15. I know now that it's not necessarily true that if there is no passion in my romantic relationship now, there never will be.
  16. I recognize today that drama, crises, fights and reconciliations are not what intimacy is all about.
  17. I can admit now that I sometimes believe that it is best to have one foot in the relationship… and one foot out of it.
  18. I have learned that I sometimes think I should expect criticism, dishonesty, and abandonment by my lover or spouse.
  19. Today I know it’s not necessarily true that my partner should always provide the attention, respect, understanding and communication I didn't always get from my parents.
  20. I’m aware today that it’s not always true that regardless of what happens, I must always love my partner unconditionally.
  21. Today I realize that neither my partner nor I are ever each other’s “parents” or “children.”
  22. I have learned that an invalidating, abandoning, abusive or neglectful relationship is not necessarily better than no relationship at all.
  23. I know better now that to think, “I cannot live without you.”
  24. Today I understand that it’s true that it is often “right” to want to leave a lover or spouse if they are being abusive.
  25. I know today that it’s not necessarily true that someone who makes me feel “alive” is better than someone who supports me in feeling “content.”
  26. I have learned that people who are merely stable and dependable are not necessarily boring and tedious.
  27. Today I question the idea that my lover or spouse must excite me or the relationship is no good.
  28. Nowadays, I know that it’s not necessarily true that I must have excitement and distraction to help me avoid painful feelings.
  29. I recognize now that there’s a part of me that believes, “I am not really worthy of being loved,” and that that part of me is wrong.
  30. I can see now that I have believed that anyone who would love me is someone I could not love in return.
  31. I know now that it is not true that I must make myself wanted by another to earn their love.
  32. Today I know that it’s not necessarily true that everyone else takes their wedding vows seriously at all times.
  33. I realize today that something is not necessarily wrong if I do not feel the way I did about my partner during the first few months we knew each other.
  34. I know now that love and sex do not come automatically, and that they are the result of conscious, disciplined effort.
Source: http://sighkoblahgrr.blogspot.com/2009/01/affirmations-for-recovering-love-addict.html. SLAA has no affiliations with this link.

Affirmations that Make Life Work

  1. I like myself unconditionally and I enjoy being the unique person that I am.
  2. I have ample leisure time and deserve to find, create and feel joy.
  3. I am a fallible human being, who makes mistakes.
  4. I am a worth-while and lovable human being.
  5. I am completely self-determined and I give others that same right.
  6. I am a unique and precious human being...doing the best I can, growing in wisdom and love.
  7. I am in charge of my own life.
  8. My #1 responsibility is my own growth and well-being.  The better I am to me, the better I will be to others.
  9. I make my own decisions and assume the responsibility of any consequences.
  10. I am not my actions.  I am the actor.  My actions may be good or bad.  That doesn't make me good or bad.
  11. I do not have to prove myself to anyone.  I need only to express myself as honestly and effectively as I am capable.
  12. My emotional well being is dependent primarily on how I love me.
  13. I am kind and gentle towards me.
  14. I live a day at a time, do first things first.
  15. I am patient and serene for I have the rest of my life in which to grow.
  16. Every experience I have in life (even the unpleasant ones) contribute to my learning and growth
  17. No one in the world is more important than I as a person.
  18. I have a right to take my space in this world.
  19. I am enough
  20. I am loyal, forgiving and gentle to me.
  21. I now choose to love, to accept, to embrace and to fully appreciate myself unconditionally.
  22. I create my reality.
  23. I have a Higher Power who loves me unconditionally. 

    Affirmations for Anorectics
  1. I am beautiful inside and out
  2. I am a child of God
  3. I cherish my body and sexuality
  4. I am capable of healthy boundaries with others
  5. I accept and learn from my mistakes
  6. I listen to the feedback of others and decide if it is true for me
  7. I accept that others are imperfect human beings loved by God
  8. My feelings, wants and needs are important
  9. I honor myself and others
  10. I am a lovable person
  11. I am healing from the trauma of my childhood
  12. I am no longer a victim of emotional or sexual abuse
  13. I state my feelings and needs directly and respectfully
  14. I trust the process and let go of the outcome
  15. I trust myself and surround myself with trustworthy people
  16. I do not shame myself or allow others to shame me
  17. I am available to support others and receive support
  18. I acknowledge my sexual feelings and attractions to others
  19. I am free to choose to love and be sexual in safe and healthy ways
  20. I unconditionally love myself just as I am today
  21. I am unconditionally loved by my Higher Power just as I am today
Source: http://www.slaadvi.org/uploads/8/3/2/2/8322184/12_characteristics_of_anorexia.pdf